Three ways to beat CNY traffic jams to Kota Baru

Three ways to beat CNY traffic jams to Kota Baru

KUALA LUMPUR: The Public Works Department has identified several
alternative
roads for motorists heading towards Kota Baru to beat the traffic
congestion
during the Chinese New Year holiday.

The department in a statement yesterday said motorists could use three
alternative roads.

The first route is from Bentong heading towards Kota Baru through Kuala
Lipis.

Motorists are advised to exit Karak Highway through Exit 8, turn into
Kampung Chinta Manis Junction (Exit 813A) and head towards Federal Road
1498.

From there, they should head towards Felda Mempaga Jaya.

From Felda Mempaga, motorists can take the T-junction heading towards Felda
Klau, head straight to Kampung Sungai Ruan through State Road C149 before
heading back into Federal Road 8 towards Kota Baru through Kuala Lipis.

Another alternative road from Kuala Krai to Kota Baru is from Federal Road
8. Head into State Road (D225) at Kampung Sungai Peria, Kuala Krai (Seksyen
311) to Simpang Tiga Pahi.

From Simpang Tiga Pahi, head into Guchil and back into Federal Road 8 to
Kota Baru.

The third alternative road from Kuala Krai to Kota Baru is through Federal
Road 8 into State Road D233 at Bandar Krai.

From Bandar Krai, motorists should head into the Guchil junction and turn
back into Federal Road 8 heading towards Kota Baru.

The silent 'H' in French

This is apparently a true but hilarious story.

Aaah, zese French.......zey give you a run for your money!

When Charles De Gaulle decided to retire from public life, the American
ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor.

At the dinner table the Ambassador's wife was talking with Madame De
Gaulle.

"Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on
the French and International scene for so many years! How quiet retirement
will seem in comparison. What are you most looking forward to in these
retirement years?"

"A penis," replied Madame De Gaulle.

A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer...and no one
knew
what to say next. Finally, Le Grand Charles leaned over to his wife and
said, "Ma cherie, I believe zee Americans pronounce zat word, 'appiness."

A Safety Sharing

Upin (3:59 PM) aku dah critic safety sharing ko..hehehe
Upin (3:59 PM) nanti aku email

Ipin (4:00 PM) perghhhh

Upin (4:00 PM) hehehe

Upin (4:00 PM) INTERVENE!

Ipin (4:01 PM) constructive feedback oke

Ipin (4:02 PM) i purposely put it there

Upin (4:02 PM) gerammm

Upin (4:02 PM) hehe

Upin (4:02 PM) tapi not good for health..

Ipin (4:02 PM) kalau nak safe side i would just left it out

Upin (4:03 PM) aku penah dua kali nak gaduh turun keta....not
worth it bro..darah muda

Ipin (4:03 PM) to the extreme boleh gaduh

Upin (4:03 PM) itu hanya ujian dari Allah..Allah dah bagi selamat,
kita di pihak yang benar....maafkanler..itu yang
aku belajor bro

Ipin (4:03 PM) tapi org tu kena tau gak

Ipin (4:03 PM) tu salah

Upin (4:03 PM) bukan nak gaduh turunketa..

Upin (4:03 PM) dua kali turun keta nak gaduh

Upin (4:04 PM) aku rasa dia dah tau bro..

Upin (4:04 PM) nafsu tuh..hehehe..cam aku gak

Ipin (4:04 PM) aku nak 'reinforced' his understanding

Ipin (4:04 PM) kekekekek

Upin (4:04 PM) satu tu anak and family dlm keta..

Upin (4:04 PM) then lepas tu anak aku tanya, kata kena beralah?

Upin (4:04 PM) hehehe

Upin (4:04 PM) abi dah tak boleh sabar ek?

Upin (4:04 PM) gulp...tu dari Allah bro..peringatan

Upin (4:04 PM) kalau mati or cedera? tak worth it kan?

Ipin (4:05 PM) not worth it

Upin (4:05 PM) bila bini aku tegur, jgn ler bang, kang dia tumbuk
kang..

Upin (4:05 PM) aku dgne go dan bernaafsu jawab..penumbuk dia je
kira..penumbuk kita dia tak pikir

Upin (4:05 PM) hehehe

Ipin (4:05 PM) heheheh

Ipin (4:06 PM) sabar la tu , sbb tu aku tgk je....kalau tak sabar
aku langgar kete dia

Ipin (4:06 PM) hahahhaha

Upin (4:06 PM) HAHAHHA

Upin (4:06 PM) ada ustaz tu kata..kalau kita sakit hati tgk org
bawak keta mcm hampeh.....itu tanda..hati kita
sakit

Ipin (4:06 PM) kekadang bila kita kena oppressed sgt

Upin (4:06 PM) terkasima aku...makan cili pedas betul!

Ipin (4:07 PM) and org yg kena uphold justice takde

Upin (4:07 PM) nabi saw kena opressed teruk bro..

Ipin (4:07 PM) apa kita nak buat, sabar pun dah habis dah

Ipin (4:07 PM) hehehe

Upin (4:07 PM) dtg jauh2 dari madinah, dp perjanjian hudaibiah je,
tak leh masuk makkah buat haji..

Upin (4:07 PM) last2 sembelih binatang kat pinggir kota mekah sbb
tak leh masuk..

Upin (4:07 PM) sabar..

Upin (4:07 PM) tu pun sahabat tak nak ikut arahan nabi..

Upin (4:07 PM) nabi sedih

Upin (4:07 PM) tapi ada hikmah sabar ni

Upin (4:08 PM) byk tuk diri kita sendiri..

Ipin (4:08 PM) mmg betui tu

Upin (4:08 PM) Allah bagi...make sure face it dgn ilmu

Ipin (4:08 PM) tp sampai bila kita kena sabar

Ipin (4:08 PM) kena kita berperang kalau kita asyik sabar je

Ipin (4:08 PM) kenapa

Upin (4:09 PM) perang tu bukan sebab tak sabar bro

Upin (4:09 PM) perang tu sebab hukum dan arahan Allah di langgar

Upin (4:09 PM) kalau perang sebab hilang sabar, itu nafsu dan
bukan lillahitaala

Upin (4:09 PM) bahaya tu.boleh kalah

Upin (4:10 PM) kalau kita kena caci..kita tak leh bertindak
sewenangnya - sebab itu ke atas diri kita,kena byk
sabar...

Upin (4:10 PM) nabi kalau kena caci dia tak marah, tapi kalau org
caci Allah atau agama, itu yg dia marah

Upin (4:10 PM) ada kisah ni, Aisyah kata "kau jangan tipu" kat
nabi

Upin (4:10 PM) nabi tak marah sebab itu utk dia..

Upin (4:11 PM) tapi Abu Bakar bapak aisyah marah..sebab anak dia
imply nabi SAW kekasih Allah yang maksum itu boleh
menipu

Upin (4:11 PM) PANGGGG!!!! dia tampar anak dia..

Upin (4:11 PM) heheh..

Upin (4:11 PM) sekian..

Ipin (4:12 PM) hmmmmm menarik kisah tu

Ipin (4:12 PM) aku ingat ada satu hmmmmm ayat Quran kot

Ipin (4:12 PM) kalau salah tolong betulkan

Upin (4:12 PM) kisah sabar ni byk bro...

Ipin (4:12 PM) Allah tanya nabi apa yg dia nak

Upin (4:13 PM) kita yang tak sabar nak duduk dan analyze dan apply

Ipin (4:13 PM) dia nak kerajaan mcm nabi sulaiman kah

Upin (4:13 PM) hehehe

Upin (4:13 PM) aku lah tu

Ipin (4:13 PM) or apa hmmmm lagi satu tu

Ipin (4:13 PM) tapi nabi jawab... dia nak jadi org yg bersyukur
dgn nikmat yg diberikan dan bersabar dgn segala
dugaaan

Ipin (4:14 PM) jadi benarlah kisah ko itu tadi

Upin (4:14 PM) pergh..

Upin (4:14 PM) nikmat syukur itu..keyword yg sgt penting

Upin (4:14 PM) settle semu amasalah kalau faham dan dpat diberi
nikmat syukur

Ipin (4:15 PM) tapi payah nak dapat capai

Ipin (4:15 PM) cakap senang je

Upin (4:15 PM) sebab nikmat syukurlah nabi bengkak2 kaki solat
malam...

Upin (4:15 PM) aku tak pandai merasai nikmat syukur sebenar2nya

Upin (4:15 PM) memang payah nak capai kalau takde first step..

Upin (4:15 PM) buat slow2..bro..

Ipin (4:15 PM) apa first step

Upin (4:16 PM) kalau mati, inshaAllah dibangkitkan dengan golongan
yang kita nak capai tu..begitulah pemurahnya Allah

Upin (4:16 PM) bukan apa first step.

Ipin (4:16 PM) Ameen bro.

Upin (4:16 PM) maksud aku, semua benda ada permulaannya..yang
senang2..kita buat...

Upin (4:16 PM) slow2...doa lagi..buat lagi, doa lagi,
istiqamah..and then tambah..tambah..doa..

Upin (4:17 PM) nampak kecik, tapi pahla syurga........tak leh nak
gambaq

Upin (4:17 PM) nikmat syukur ni, first sekali ialah buat apa
diperintah, dan tinggal apayg dilarang

Upin (4:17 PM) stay focus and istiqamah utk benda2 ni

Ipin (4:17 PM) adoiii kat situ pun dah kantoi

Upin (4:18 PM) kalau ko kaata kokantoi, aku pun kantoi..kita terus
bersuaha..taubat nasuha boleh tolong buatkan jadi
ringan ibadat lain

Upin (4:18 PM) lagi byk nangis, lagi mudah beribadat..

Upin (4:18 PM) lagi manis

Upin (4:18 PM) manis beribadat ni ko rasa lepas ko
nangis....memang manis..memang high...

Upin (4:19 PM) mesti ko penah nangis kerana Allah..

Upin (4:19 PM) cam tu lah...ada org hari2 nangis bro...

Upin (4:19 PM) mana lah ibadaat dia tak cantik\

Ipin (4:19 PM) Ahmad Suffian ... mesti ko penah nangis kerana
Allah..<----ko bg statement ke ko tanya

Upin (4:20 PM) statement

Upin (4:20 PM) semua org at one point mesti pernah nangis..

Ipin (4:20 PM) owhh

Upin (4:20 PM) mula2 buat2 nangis..

Upin (4:20 PM) lama2 automatic nangis

Upin (4:20 PM) ok lah..aku nak pi nangis jap

Upin (4:20 PM) hehe

Ipin (4:20 PM) hmmm penah gak la

Upin (4:20 PM) nak balik dah

Ipin (4:20 PM) heheheh

Ipin (4:20 PM) kalau ko balik aku nangis lah

Upin (4:20 PM) HAHAHA

Upin (4:21 PM) pastu ko balik umah, jumpa bini..dah tak nangis
dah..ke mlm sket dua2 'nangis' ?

Upin (4:21 PM) hikhikhik

Ipin (4:21 PM) kekekekke berbaur tu

Upin (4:21 PM) aku hanya terpikir...HAHAHA

Upin (4:21 PM) ok lah..

Ipin (4:21 PM) ok piye tengkiu

Upin (4:22 PM) sebelum fikiran aku melayang terus jauh

Upin (4:22 PM) haha

Upin (4:22 PM) not a problem (apa benda yg ditengkiukan pun aku
tak tau)

Ipin (4:22 PM) jazakallah hu khairan. semoga Allah membalas jasa
baik kamu.

Upin (4:22 PM) Barakallah feek

Ipin (4:22 PM) Gapo maksud dia tu

Upin (4:23 PM) god bless yah!

Upin (4:24 PM) got to go

Ipin (4:24 PM) ok Assalamualaikum

Upin (4:25 PM) Salam

Temuduga Terbuka Banyak Kekosongan Cepat2 Mohon

<<Forwarded>>

TEMUDUGA TERBUKA!!!

(Embedded image moved to file: pic15190.jpg)Aslanwashere

SEMUA AKAN DIKEHENDAKI HADIR TANPA SEBARANG PENGECUALIAN

KEKOSONGAN JAWATAN:
A. Ahli Syurga Dari Awal.
B. Ahli Neraka Dari Awal.
C. Ahli Neraka Sementara Kemudian Akan Dilantik Jadi Ahli Syurga.

EMPAT GANJARAN LUMAYAN (khas untuk jawatan A):
1. Nikmat kubur.
2. Perlindungan di Padang Mahsyar.
3. Keselamatan Meniti Titian Sirat.
4. Syurga yang kekal abadi.

TARIKH TEMUDUGA:
Bila-bila masa secara adhoc bermula dari saat membaca iklan ini.

LOKASI TEMUDUGA:
Di dalam kubur (alam barzakh).

KELAYAKAN:
Anda tidak perlu bawa siji-sijil,termasuk sijil saham termasuk saham
Internet.
Anda tidak perlu bawa pingat , Mercedes mata belalang atau kad kredit.
Anda tidak perlu bawa wang atau harta serta emas yang anda kumpul.
Anda tidak perlu berparas rupa yg cantik, hensem atau berbadan tegap atau
seksi.
Sila bawa dokumen asal iaitu : Iman dan Amal serta sedekah jariah sebagai
sokongan.

PANEL/PENEMUDUGA:
Mungkar dan Nakir.

ENAM SOALAN BOCOR:
1. Siapa Tuhan anda?
2. Apa Agama anda?
3. Siapa Nabi anda?
4. Apa Kitab anda?
5. Di mana Kiblat anda?
6. Siapa Saudara anda?

CARA MEMOHON:
Anda cuma perlu menunggu penjemput yang berkaliber untuk menjemput anda. Ia
akan menjemput anda pada bila-bila masa saja (mungkin sekejap lagi). Ia
akan berlembut kepada orang-orang tertentu dan akan bengis kepada
orang-orang tertentu.

Ia diberi nama Izrail.

TIPS UNTUK BERJAYA DALAM TEMUDUGA TERTUTUP INI:
Hadis Hasan yang diriwayatkan oleh Ahmad Hanbal, yang bermaksud begini:
Sila war-warkan tawaran jawatan kosong ini kepada semua sahabat.

Wallahu-a'lam. Semoga berjaya dalam temuduga ini.
Sila lihat tawaran-tawaran lain sebelum menjadi jenazah

sama2lah kita saling ingat mengingati bersama...

__._,_.___

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(Embedded image moved to file: pic05584.gif)
__,_._,___

The Store

The Husband Store....

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where any
woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance
is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY
ONCE!!!

You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up
a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the Building! So, a
woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband…

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely
good looking..

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good
looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign
reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this
floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit
the building, and have a nice day!

Double Time

It has been very very long time, since i last jotted down my thoughts. Many things has been happening in 2009 and it is now 2010. To make it easey i'll write in in point form, just like what Tun Mahathir does.

1. I married in 2009, it was one of the single biggest steps in my life. In anyone life's infact.
2. I (and my spouse) bought a house. Another major commitments in anyone's life.
3. My wife conceived our child, and it is now 9 weeks old. Another major commitments.

I noticed that time flies double time after you get married. It seems that there are so much things to do and there is so little time. Weekends flies just like a blink of an eye. Now i would understand why my friends who married before me, suddenly became 'quiet'....

And for tonight, i'm trying to rescue one of my harddisk which has gone 'kong'. Pray for me!!

Syabas Harimau Malaya!!

Al Fatihah

Dear Readers,
Please recite Al-Fatihah to the late my friends mother who passed away on Sunday, 6th December 2009.

You can read more about it here...