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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Temuduga Terbuka Banyak Kekosongan Cepat2 Mohon

<<Forwarded>>

TEMUDUGA TERBUKA!!!


(Embedded image moved to file: pic15190.jpg)Aslanwashere

SEMUA AKAN DIKEHENDAKI HADIR TANPA SEBARANG PENGECUALIAN

KEKOSONGAN JAWATAN:
A. Ahli Syurga Dari Awal.
B. Ahli Neraka Dari Awal.
C. Ahli Neraka Sementara Kemudian Akan Dilantik Jadi Ahli Syurga.

EMPAT GANJARAN LUMAYAN (khas untuk jawatan A):
1. Nikmat kubur.
2. Perlindungan di Padang Mahsyar.
3. Keselamatan Meniti Titian Sirat.
4. Syurga yang kekal abadi.

TARIKH TEMUDUGA:
Bila-bila masa secara adhoc bermula dari saat membaca iklan ini.

LOKASI TEMUDUGA:
Di dalam kubur (alam barzakh).

KELAYAKAN:
Anda tidak perlu bawa siji-sijil,termasuk sijil saham termasuk saham
Internet.
Anda tidak perlu bawa pingat , Mercedes mata belalang atau kad kredit.
Anda tidak perlu bawa wang atau harta serta emas yang anda kumpul.
Anda tidak perlu berparas rupa yg cantik, hensem atau berbadan tegap atau
seksi.
Sila bawa dokumen asal iaitu : Iman dan Amal serta sedekah jariah sebagai
sokongan.

PANEL/PENEMUDUGA:
Mungkar dan Nakir.

ENAM SOALAN BOCOR:
1. Siapa Tuhan anda?
2. Apa Agama anda?
3. Siapa Nabi anda?
4. Apa Kitab anda?
5. Di mana Kiblat anda?
6. Siapa Saudara anda?

CARA MEMOHON:
Anda cuma perlu menunggu penjemput yang berkaliber untuk menjemput anda. Ia
akan menjemput anda pada bila-bila masa saja (mungkin sekejap lagi). Ia
akan berlembut kepada orang-orang tertentu dan akan bengis kepada
orang-orang tertentu.

Ia diberi nama Izrail.

TIPS UNTUK BERJAYA DALAM TEMUDUGA TERTUTUP INI:
Hadis Hasan yang diriwayatkan oleh Ahmad Hanbal, yang bermaksud begini:
Sila war-warkan tawaran jawatan kosong ini kepada semua sahabat.


Wallahu-a'lam. Semoga berjaya dalam temuduga ini.
Sila lihat tawaran-tawaran lain sebelum menjadi jenazah

sama2lah kita saling ingat mengingati bersama...


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The Store

The Husband Store....

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where any
woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance
is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY
ONCE!!!

You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up
a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the Building! So, a
woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband…

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely
good looking..

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good
looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign
reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this
floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit
the building, and have a nice day!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Double Time

It has been very very long time, since i last jotted down my thoughts. Many things has been happening in 2009 and it is now 2010. To make it easey i'll write in in point form, just like what Tun Mahathir does.

  1. I married in 2009, it was one of the single biggest steps in my life. In anyone life's infact.
  2. I (and my spouse) bought a house. Another major commitments in anyone's life.
  3. My wife conceived our child, and it is now 9 weeks old. Another major commitments.

I noticed that time flies double time after you get married. It seems that there are so much things to do and there is so little time. Weekends flies just like a blink of an eye. Now i would understand why my friends who married before me, suddenly became 'quiet'....

And for tonight, i'm trying to rescue one of my harddisk which has gone 'kong'. Pray for me!!