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Monday, August 07, 2006

I'm Sorry...

Time: 8.38pm
Loc: My room
Music Play: Radiohead - Creep

(Sigh)it been 1 month since i blogging, in between a lot of things have happen around me and within me. Israeli laknatullah have attack Palestine and Lebanon mercilessly, their war planes have pounded both places like they care not for any lives living there. A lot of our brothers and sisters have died in vain, May Allah Almighty put their souls in peace. I'm sorry for them.

Yestermonth also saw the biggest clash of of ideas between Muslim and non-Muslim in Malaysia, in the middle stood a person name Azlina Kamaruddin @ Lina Joy. This among the biggest test strike deep down into the heart of all Muslim in Malaysia. I can say some are not even bother at all but for the rest of us it is clearly a declaration of anti islam (from group called Article 11).... on our own soils? May Allah Almighty unite our heart against these people. I'm sorry (and sad) for those Muslim support Article 11.

Just a few days ago KJ (Khairy Jamaluddin) begin answering all the negative allegation certain quarters made into his fasttracked reign into power, ECM Libra Scandal, Scenic bridge scandal, Maya Karin scandal and etc. I'm not saying i'm totally against him, but all the allegation i read do have its creadibility. If he is sincere with his UMNO struggle, i pray to Allah almighty to guide him. I'm sorry for him.

Another episode have also unfolded in my life. Two months ago if you asked me, i never expected this to happen, but it did happen. Even when it happen i never thought its gonna be complicated like this. I'm in dilemma. The decision making dilemma. In one hand i have to think about me, myself and I and on the other hand i have to think about all those people who might be affected with my decision.

This is not an overnight decision, i been thinking about it since it happen (and also before it happen). I slept thinking what i should do about it.

Would you go against your own principle that you believed in just for your own good?

Only God knows how difficult it has been. I try not to indulge to emotionally with my decision, i try to think straight, i try rationalize it, i pray to HIM to seek his guidances. This decision may hurt some people.....but i hope only for short period of time, but ultimately it will be the best decision for many people (i do estimate it gonna put me in losing end). I remember a dialogue in a movie "sometimes doing the right things isn't doing the right things". I hope this entry will become a testimonial (in the future) if it is ever be questioned again. I'm really sorry for her.

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