Love Hurts

Let me jot this down, before my memory failed me.

My colleague and also one of my best friends since June 2004 called me down for Solat Zohor and lepaking (read smoking) from my office this afternoon. As usual at 3.30pm i went down, expecting the normal chit chat, laughing, tension release session at smoking corners.

Then, this guy 'pow' me one stick of ciggy, though he is not a smoker, sometimes he plays with smoke, so sincerely i gave one to him (without the intention of killing him, though it might!). He looked kusam ( kusut + masam) , but again sometimes its normal for him. I thought it must be the job.

He asked me with joking tone "Bila mau kawen be?". Sort of usual question i lately received. I jokingly answered, "Taun depan lah kot, ko mesti kawen dulu, Dr mesti dah tanya tu". *His gf is a Doc.

Next he slowly whisper to me, to avoid the large crowd to notice, "awek aku mintak break". I was stunned, a statement hard to swallowed and i've been in this same situation before with Tumpaque. The looked on his face is exactly the same as what Tumpaque was. It is bullshit if i say i understand how he feels, coz i will never do, its his story and only him knows it. Being a good friend and in this critical situation i better choose my words carefully, or else i might inflict more damage to the hurting organ (read heart).

I asked him what happened. With a gentle, deep sound he responded "dia jumpa org lain, mamat kelate". While puffing the ciggy like a hustler he continue his stories, seems that his gf met this guy a month ago and there is an affair going on between them, up to the point she wants to break up. My friend wants to marry her if thats what it take to secure the love of his heart, but again the answer from his gf disappointing him.

He even suggest that the new guy cast a spell (ubat guna-guna) to her gf. I couldn't say for sure but i know there are cases like that. It is possible since that guy is a MA (Medical Assistant) at one of govt hospital, if we talk about 'sekufu' , this is absolutely not sekufu case but again sometimes love just blind. It blinded you from everything and sorry to say, that it was always blinded the women.

I know that at this juncture it is very difficult to turn things around, especially when the request came from the girl itself. Men are more realistic in assessing the relationship status. They are not too overwhelm with their emotions and always factoring other considerations. One of my friend just resume his relationship with his gf for 7 years albeit he met a new girl which is as good as the one he have, for the sake of responsibility. Although the spark is almost die, he is committed to bring it up and he cherished the 7 years they had together, plus other factor.

I asked this fellow, to go and see his gf, i even advised him to brings flowers ! just to sweeten things up. They need to talk..... talking sincerely. May the best came out today.

The Rentals.

Watch here, Matt Sharp former bassist of Weezer, currently forming his own group (actually since 1995) on one of the band hit singles ' The love i'm searching for '.

This song remind me, Zaki of Sarawak, my ultimate-music-source in UTP. Cheers!!

Do we really read Koran?

Read:

1. To examine and grasp the meaning of (written or printed characters, words, or sentences).

That is the definition of reading. To the least you should understand the meaning of each word (vocabulary) and then indulge the whole meaning of the sentences.

As for me i don't really understand what read (if that is call reading in the first place). Shame on me, i know! I (we) been taught to 'read' Koran since we were kids, probably around 4 years old. Our parent sent us to Tok Guru/Ustaz/Ustazah house or even religious school to read the holy book. There we started to learn, the first character is alif, then ba followed by ta. It rhyme so well that we sometimes say, 'pegi belajar alif ba ta' which is equivalent to learn the Koran.

We also learn the sounds when this character is combined, i.e: alif atas = aa , alif bawah = ii and alif depan = uu, thus becomes aa ii uu, followed by ba, ta and so on. When we mastered that, we are then asked to read short sentences in the Koran. Ustaz/Ustazah/Tok Guru were so persistence to make sure we really got the sound right, they always have a long 'rotan' besides them. New school of taught may say that instilling fear in kids to get the results is NOT the right way, well for me it works back then.

After that we start to learn reading the first surah of Koran which is Al-Fatihah, also known as the mother of the book, although the first commandment by Allah to Muhammad is in surah Iqra'. From there we learn to finish what is called back then 'Quran Kecil' (small Koran), next comes the the part of 'reading' the whole holy book and after that we finished the learning process which sometimes accompanied by a small functions of 'Khatam Al-Quran'.

The question is, from those period of 2,3 or 4 years learning to 'read' The Koran, do we really reading it, or we just making the right sound without really understand what we read (if you call it reading). Wait wait, i'm not condemning the traditional ways of learning 'reading' The Koran, but there was a gap. Most of us, including me, thought that, "yippie, thats it, i already khatam Al-Quran". Whereas there should be another process of LEARNING THE MEANING/TEACHING/STORY inside the holy book.

It is no doubt in our secular school teaching, we are spared 'Pendidikan Islam' to help us understand this religion. The teaching of The Koran is passed on through the syllabus, but not as chapter by chapter itself. Look at the William Shakespeare play Hamlet. I think in some western countries it becomes a subject of study of itself, reading (the real reading) from page to page, interpret, debate the meaning of the masterpiece.

Well if that book/play, written by a human being is considered as masterpiece, then The Holy Koran would be greatestpiece. It was not crafted by human, but rather a God commandment itself and shame on us for not understanding what we are reading (if that is call reading).

Strike Three

Three different girls, three different men, three different locations and me. Same incident, same intention (i think??), same feeling and same surprised.

The first one happened in PD long long time ago. I have to admit, i never saw its coming. So it was a total surprised. Took me a while to understand the incident and to react (with no actions) . The second one, i kind of have a gut feel that its gonna happen, not really a surprised, i went well prepared. And also thanks to my friend who were there. Oh ya, it happens in Setiawangsa. The third one happened today. It was surprising, i was caught off guard again!! It happens around KLCC.

Maybe the motives for those three incidents are the same, maybe not. Third time is the charm, right? Maybe its time for me to act.... we'll see.

I'm afraid to start because........ its gonna end

I just read this one article in a friend's blog. Here it goes...

Eighty Percent of Success is Showing Up

The only way to start to improve your life is to start.
Once you're sure you're on the right road
there is no need to plan your journey too far ahead.

Don't burden yourself with doubts and fears
as to the obstacles that may bar your progress.
You can only take one step at a time.

You don't need to know all the answers in advance.
Just maintain a clear idea of the goal you want to reach
and the answers will come in their own time.

If you can get up the courage to begin,you'll have the courage to succeed.
It's the job you never start that takes the longest to finish.
Go after what you want and you'll get it.


I have to concur that this is so true, atleast i've experienced it. I just don't want to start because i don't want it to end. I really hate the ending part. but again its life every beginning has its end. Maybe this year i have to really focusing to start...... everything. Have courage.

2008.... A new year