Ilman day by day

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Monday, August 28, 2006

My next hunny......

This is my next hunny bunny....InsyaAllah kalau ada duit.

I had Nikon SQ (status: gone) and Sony W5 (status: working great)previously. To add this new hunny into my collection, gonna cause a big hole in my pocket....but i still want it though. :D

U happy?

I was texting with someone today. When all conversation lead her to ask me this question.

"U happy?"

The question really struck me deep inside, pausing me from the fact of this universe for a while, and make me dive deep inside myself looking for the answer. It's not like an ordinary question like "are u hungry?", "are u bored?", "are u sick?", which there is a lot of body sensors that can detect it and simultaneously feedback the answer. It involves more into feelings..

The truth is i don't know whether i'm happy or not. But that is not the answer that i gave to her. In a smaller scope i try to answer according to what had happen between us and the anwswer was.

"Im happy 2 do a right thing."

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Manusia Hanya Merancang Tuhan Jua Menentukan!!

Perbualan SMS

me:"wey slamat pengantin baru. Sori x dpt dtg."
- aku antar SMS kat member aku yg akan kawin today 26/8/06. Dia hantar kad kawin dia lebih kurang sebulan lalu. Boleh dikatakan kad kawin dia tu agak 'kewl' sbb ada gambar dia dan tunang dia berlatar belakangkan KLCC!

En J:"Sori beb. aku x jd kawin la. kansel sume xde. next time"
- aku terkejut mendapat jawapan begini. semacam satu kenyataan yg tidak dapat diterima oleh kepala otak aku ini. Persoalan besar yg keluar, Kenapa?

me:"Astagfirullah. Sabar bro. Ad hikmah tu. Nanti lain kali story"
- wpun aku mmg ingin tahu apa yg sebenarnya terjadi (bukan bermaksud utk bergossip tetapi utk menjadi teladan) namun aku simpan dulu petanyaan besar itu, kerana situasi yg masih 'panas' ini.

En J:"Dun wori bro i'm fine. kt doa je la"
- wpun jawapannya nampak tenang, namun hanya Tuhan shj yg tahu betapa bergeloranya hatiNya, apakan tidak menara yg ingin dibina hancur musnah begitu sahaja.

Rupa2nya En J penah menghantar sms yg berbunyi seperti berikut, 2 hari sebelum ini.
En J:"A'kum bro. minta maaf majlis kawin kansel tp kenduri d melaka ttp ada. djemput hadir"
- mmg aku telah baca msg itu pada hari tersebut, namun tafsiran aku pada masa itu adalah berlainin. Pada mulanya aku membayangkan upacara 'kawin' (bersanding dan sebagainya) yg kansel tetapi mereka masih di akad nikahkan, namun hal yg langsugn tidak aku terfikir terjadi. Jika tidak masakan aku masih memberi ucapan tahniah padanya dihari ini.

Terkedu aku memikirkan perkara ini. Suatu perjalan perhubungan yg panjang, yg sudah menghampiri ke jalan yg halal, hanya menantikan satu ijab kabul utk dimaktubkan, tiba2 terkandas di pintu pelamin. hmmmmmmmm...... sungguh menyedihkan. :(

Semoga Allah menjaukan aku dari ujian sebegini. Amin.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Where have all the good boys gone?

If youre married, asked this question to your spouse. "How many relationship do you have, before you married me?". Relation here is define as anything as long as u speak of 'i love you'. Chances are you will here that women will have more relationship to men.

Ok hang on, we are talking about the 'normal' people here. A fairly beautiful women and a fairly handsome men. Not on the two opposite end of the graph, the superly brad pitly looking guys or a crooked looking guy. You got the main aye?

1. Women will have more than 3 relationship.
2. Men will have less than 3 relationship.
3. Ratio of men to women in Malayias is like 1 men to 8 women (if i'm not mistaken).

So here comes the big questions, with who did this women have all the relationship when their partner doesn't involves in this. The answer is, they (all women) are chasing all this 'player'.

Player is a name that have evolved from centuries ago. During 14th century they may be known as Casanova. Some women labelled thema as 'buaya', 'musang', 'mat romeo', etc. They are what i called fortunate males who were given the charming looks and action beyong their ordinary spesies. It is recognize that this spesies do hunt women for their pleasure, but it is also an underlook theory where female do provoke this 'Player' to like them. I won't indulge too much on this matter in fact (next time probably).

So what happen to all this good boys, back then. From my experience and my friend's experience, men don't generally rush into relationship. They might involves with some stupid monkey love during their primary or secondary schooling but after that they probably don't. They need soo much time with their FRIENDS... so gals now you should know why friends are important to men.

In contrast to women, they are constantly need to feel secure or in the need of companion. Women confess to me that even if they have girl friends, they still need their boyfriend, to channel the enormous amount of emotions that they have. Its true, women are full of emotion and men are not. Does this rings a bell, when your male partner always forget your anniversaries? It doesn't mean they don't love you but their mind is not fully emotional to remember that date. For some it is just a date, as long as he love you, who cares?

wah.... i'm tired already. It is interesting topic, i promise to discuss it again.

Till then.

Age Gap

Friday, August 11, 2006

Home Sweet Home....ohhh yeahh

i'm back in Kelantan.....its been quite some time since the last time i was back here. When youre home, there are certain feeling rushing into you........its hard to explain but it exist.

Thinking deep inside, i can summarize its the feeling of SECURE. Yup in your home, you feel safe, in your home you had love, in your home you had very everything. Its good to be home.... :D

Monday, August 07, 2006

NIRVANA - All Apologies

*suddently after i wrote my previous blog, my Winamp plays song All Apologies from Nirvana. What a coincidence, so here it goes...

What else should I be
All apologies
What else should I say
Everyone is gay
What else should I write
I dont have the right
What else should I be
All apologies

In the sun
In the sun I feel as one
In the sun
In the sun

I wish I was like you
Easily amused
Find my nest of salt
Everything is my fault
Ill take all the blame
Aqua seafoam shame
Sunburn with freezerburn
Choking on the ashes of her enemy

In the sun
In the sun I feel as one
In the sun
In the sun

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

All in all we all are (x13)

I'm Sorry...

Time: 8.38pm
Loc: My room
Music Play: Radiohead - Creep

(Sigh)it been 1 month since i blogging, in between a lot of things have happen around me and within me. Israeli laknatullah have attack Palestine and Lebanon mercilessly, their war planes have pounded both places like they care not for any lives living there. A lot of our brothers and sisters have died in vain, May Allah Almighty put their souls in peace. I'm sorry for them.

Yestermonth also saw the biggest clash of of ideas between Muslim and non-Muslim in Malaysia, in the middle stood a person name Azlina Kamaruddin @ Lina Joy. This among the biggest test strike deep down into the heart of all Muslim in Malaysia. I can say some are not even bother at all but for the rest of us it is clearly a declaration of anti islam (from group called Article 11).... on our own soils? May Allah Almighty unite our heart against these people. I'm sorry (and sad) for those Muslim support Article 11.

Just a few days ago KJ (Khairy Jamaluddin) begin answering all the negative allegation certain quarters made into his fasttracked reign into power, ECM Libra Scandal, Scenic bridge scandal, Maya Karin scandal and etc. I'm not saying i'm totally against him, but all the allegation i read do have its creadibility. If he is sincere with his UMNO struggle, i pray to Allah almighty to guide him. I'm sorry for him.

Another episode have also unfolded in my life. Two months ago if you asked me, i never expected this to happen, but it did happen. Even when it happen i never thought its gonna be complicated like this. I'm in dilemma. The decision making dilemma. In one hand i have to think about me, myself and I and on the other hand i have to think about all those people who might be affected with my decision.

This is not an overnight decision, i been thinking about it since it happen (and also before it happen). I slept thinking what i should do about it.

Would you go against your own principle that you believed in just for your own good?

Only God knows how difficult it has been. I try not to indulge to emotionally with my decision, i try to think straight, i try rationalize it, i pray to HIM to seek his guidances. This decision may hurt some people.....but i hope only for short period of time, but ultimately it will be the best decision for many people (i do estimate it gonna put me in losing end). I remember a dialogue in a movie "sometimes doing the right things isn't doing the right things". I hope this entry will become a testimonial (in the future) if it is ever be questioned again. I'm really sorry for her.